AESOP'S FABLE!
- Bodies are Gross
- Weaselboners
- The Bitch and Her Friend
- More Reasons Not To Be a Bird
- Grapes: Just Not Worth It
- This is why I’m not friends with any ants
- I got fired from my job today
AFRICAN!
- The Goat, the Wolf, and the Cabbage, OR: Poor Purchasing Decisions
- Dogs: Great Friends, Terrible Couriers
- Makóma is better than you
- Eshu Elegba gives Zeus a run for his money
- Eshu Elegba: Okay, This is Getting Kind of Freaky
- Eshu Elegba is a Big Ol’ Jerk Clown
- Bushmen Don’t Like Fire For Obvious Reasons
- Local father discovers immortality with this one weird tip
- HEY AFRICA
AMERICAN!
- The Goat, the Wolf, and the Cabbage, OR: Poor Purchasing Decisions
- THE MATRIX
- Watergate is Absolutely Nothing Like Gamergate
- Green Eggs and Ham is About the Nature of Consent
- Where Was This Little Dutch Boy During Katrina?
- SANTA CLAUS IS EN ROUTE
- The Godfather Part 1 Makes Me Want Pasta
- Frosty The Snowman’s Bitch Was My Nickname In Junior High
- Let Me Ruin a Christmas Thing for You:
- The Lady or The Tiger???
- This is Not a Myth. This is Some Real-Ass Shit.
- It is less than twelve days til the twelve days of Christmas
- Sam Spade looks like SATAN
- ELVIS LIVES!
- Billy the Kid is a Precocious Lad
- And People Ask Me Why I Hate Birds
- STAR WARS, Episode VI: Maybe you could just blow up a little planet? No?
- STAR WARS, Episode V: Even fewer planets blow up
- STAR WARS, Episode IV: Not Enough Planets Explode
- What if Superman was a Nazi
- Spiderman: Like Batman, but for Spiders
- Batman is Gifted at Crimefighting, Not so Great at Names
- INTER-FUCKING-MISSION
- The Little Engine That Has Terrible Co-Workers
- INTERMISSION
- HAPPY THANKSGIVING
- Who the fuck poaches pigs?
- Rip Van Winkle Has a PhD In Lazy
- Johnny Appleseed Has a Kevlar Scrotum
- So it’s 2 weeks before christmas
- A B Stormalong drinks concentrated AMERICA JUICE
- Ok here’s a short one
- Neil Gaiman made up this myth
- Pecos Bill Has a Wife Sometimes
- Tornadoes are Emo as Fuck
- Too much effort for peanuts
- This myth is also a disney ride
- Pecos Bill more like Pecos AWESOME
- Paul Bunyan was a Log-Drivin’ Man
- John Henry was a Steel-Drivin’ Man
ANGMAGSALIK!
- Musatak Chills With Bears
- The Two Boys Who Were Olympic-Class Swimmers/Murderers
- The Two Angmagsalik Sisters Have Every Fetish
- In Which Eating Kids is Not a Big Deal
- The Second-Rapiest Moon Story Ever
- Imerasuguk is a Hungry Man
ARABIAN!
- One Woman’s Daring Journey Through a Labyrinth of Dicks
- Death Awaits Us All!
- Killing Hunchbacks is Totally Fine
- Genies are Connoisseurs of Hotness
- Scheherezade is Better at This Than I Am
- Old-Times Arabia is a Writhing Carpet of Orgies
- Being a fisherman is occasionally lucrative
- Animals Give Questionable Advice in Arabia
- Sinbad the Sailor: COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS (Part 2)
- Sinbad sure does like booze and whores (Part 1)
- Aladdin is up to his fucking eyeballs in genies
- Ali Baba has really legit slaves
ARTHURIAN!
- King Arthur, in: BONER BUNGLE
- Balin needs to chill the fuck out
- Even Tristram’s NAME is Sad
- Sir Gawain Gets Married?!
- Percival has a habit of listening to idiots
- Sir Gawain is a guy who only accepts shitty propositions
- The Holy Grail is Exciting. Galahad is Not.
- Sir Bors is just Batshit Insane
- Galahad does not have time for this shit
- Sucks to be Lancelot
- Percival is the manliest man ever to wear a dress
- Becoming King Is Not Very Complicated
- Uther Pendragon is basically Zeus
AUSTRALIAN!
AZTEC!
BERBER!
BRAZILIAN!
BUDDHIST!
CELTIC!
- Lugh the Long Handed is Born in an Irish Cowfight
- The Speckled Bull is Like The Speckled Band Except Not At All
- Cuchulainn: ULTIMATE HUSBAND
- Midir is a Player
- Niall Sure Knows How To Take One For The Team
- Teig O’Kane Disposes of a Body
- It was awesome being a poet in ancient Ireland
- The Tuatha De Know How to Fight a Fucking War
- Everyone in Ireland is a Dick
- Cuchulainn is the megatron of killing people
- Cuchulainn Rapes His Way To Success
- Happy birthday god dammit
- Breathing Fire Does Not Pay
- Reverse Daterape?
- There is no dude badder than Cuchulainn
CHINESE!
- THE MAD BEGGAR CHOU TIEN
- The Romance of the Three Kingdoms is a Rousing Tale of Violence and Pals
- Prince Five-Weapons in the Land of Incredibly Descriptive Names
- MONKEY KING
- No One Agrees Who The Hell Pan Gu Is
- Chang’e gets the short end of the immortality stick
CHRISTMAS!
CTHULU MYTHOS!
- I Guess It’s Not Surprising That HP Lovecraft Hates Colors
- The Thing at the Doorstep Would be a Good Porn Title
- THE DREAM QUEST OF UNKNOWN KADATH would be a good alternate title for Johnny Quest
- THE DREAM QUEST OF UNKNOWN KADATH is pretty (PART 2!)
- THE DREAM QUEST OF UNKNOWN KADATH is a pretty long name for a book
- Boats: an Elder God’s Only Weakness
DISCORDIAN!
DOCTOR SEUSS!
EGYPTIAN!
- Set Doesn’t Know When to Quit, and Neither Does His Ass
- Thoth Bangs Nut for DAYS
- Helen Went To Egypt and it Sucked
- Set Jizzes On His Enemies
- It is hard for Set to not be a douchebag
- Osiris gets his dick ripped off
- Egyptians are pretty weird
ENGLISH!
- The Goat, the Wolf, and the Cabbage, OR: Poor Purchasing Decisions
- Alice and Her Adventures in Gaslighting
- The Elephant’s Child is a Story About Child Abuse, Straight Up
- The Jungle Book is a Book about Jungle
- Peter Pan is as Shitty as Every Other Child
- Thomas the Rhymer Would be a Great MC Name
- It is less than twelve days til the twelve days of Christmas
- Maid Marian is a Murder Machine
ETHIOPIAN!
- The Goat, the Wolf, and the Cabbage, OR: Poor Purchasing Decisions
- Warning: This Myth Contains a Taxi
FAIRYTALE!
- Peter Pan is as Shitty as Every Other Child
- Geese and Gold: Two Great Tastes That Go Great Together
- The Musicians of Bremen are Animals With a Bad Retirement Plan
- This Tin Soldier is Too Steadfast
- Hans Christian Andersen Hates Mermaids
- Donkey Lettuce
- Everybody Poops/Dies
- The Grimm’s Brothers Present: THE INJUSTICE LEAGUE
- The Pied Piper is the Reason You Always Pay Your Contractors
- Chicken Little Is a Little High-Strung
- Gamblin’ Hans
- Imagine You’re Receiving Oral Sex From Pinnochio And Then You Ask Him How Pretty You Are
- Hotness and the Yeti
- As if I Needed Another Reason To Hate Cats
- The Boy Who Couldn’t Not Be an Idiot
- The Turnip Princess is another one of those goddamn fairytales
- The Little Red Overachiever
- TWO PRINCESSES GET TRIPLE HEAD XXX
- The Six Sick Swans’ Slick Sis’s Speechless
- The Emperor’s Terrible Fashion Sense
- The Wizard of Oz is an Exercise in Futility
- Hans-My-Hedgehog is Just Some Dude’s Crazy Acid Trip
- I did not realize people would pay that much money for hair
- Ducks are Idiots
- In Which The Color Of This Dude’s Beard Is Not Actually Very Important
- It’s Not As If We Didn’t Know Trolls Were Idiots
- Don’t worry, Elves will fix it
- Geese Are Jerks
- Life Sucks When You Don’t Have Hands
- Since When Do Animals Have Any Business Building Houses
- Grandmothers are a Serious Security Risk
- Shoemakers are far radder than Knights
- Fuck you too, Hans Christian Andersen
- Ole Lukoie is CLEARLY a pedophile
- The Mouse, The Bird, and the Sausage
- Robin Hood is for Pussies
- Snow White and Rose Red: No Relation to That Other Snow White
- The Frog Prince is So Much Weirder Than I Thought It Was
- Snow White and the Seven Dwarves Who Don’t Know the Heimlich Maneuver
- Real Princesses Get Hernias From Vegetables
- Rumplestitskin needs to be a little less of an idiot
- More like Sleeping BOOTY am i right? No.
- Fuck Jack and Fuck his Beanstalk
- Little Red Riding Hood is a Dumb Little Girl
- Hansel and Grettel is a story about eating stuff
- Rapunzel’s Mom Sure Loves Lettuce
- Ashputtle has birds that are Genies
- Bears will fuck you up
- The Green Snake Eats Inedible Garbage
FINNISH!
- The Kalevala is SERIOUS ABOUT BEER
- The Kalevala Has Weird Ideas About Iron
- Kullervo Dies Finally
- Mountains are Jerks
- Teen Kullervo? Still an Asshole.
- Young Kullervo is an Asshole
- Cows Sometimes Turn Into Bears in Finland
- Ilmatar likes to dive headfirst into shitstorms
FRENCH!
- It is less than twelve days til the twelve days of Christmas
- Charlemagne is Heteroflexible
- In Which The Color Of This Dude’s Beard Is Not Actually Very Important
- Cats Solve Every Problem
GERMAN!
- The Goat, the Wolf, and the Cabbage, OR: Poor Purchasing Decisions
- The Nutcracker is a Total Head Trip
- The Green Snake Eats Inedible Garbage
GREEK/ROMAN!
- SING, MUSE!
- Erysichthon Gotta Eat
- THE BIRDS (but not the Hitchcock version) (but kind of the Hitchcock version)
- Hyppolitus, A Play About Sex Problems
- The Sword Of Damocles is Hangin’ Over My Head (THAT AIN’T NO CRIME)
- The Myth of Er
- The Satyricon Ends Not With a Bang, But With Several
- I am not Spartacus
- The Satyricon is a Blitzkrieg of Boobs
- The Satyricon is The Satyricon
- The Satyricon is a PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY
- The Satyricon is Like a Road Trip Movie Directed by the Quentin Tarantino of Sex
- Alcibiades is Handsome as Hell
- Pisistratus is Smarter Than the Government
- Priapus Has a Hard-on for EVERYBODY
- The Orestei… fuck it.
- The Oresteia? More like the ARRESTEIA, am i … Nope. Not working.
- The Oresteia … Is a Hard Word to Make Puns Out of
- Themistocles is the Best Jerk In History
- Hippocleides more like HipHopcleides
- What’s So Great About Athens?
- Alexander The Great is a Torrent of Testosterone
- Philoctetes, more like PhilocTITTIES am I right
- Daedalus is a Way Bigger Asshole Than You Suspected
- Oerestes Is a Ladies’ Man
- Lysistrata in: Boners for Peace
- Alcmene Gets Doubleteamed
- Antigone and the Too Many Suicides
- Andromeda is in a Galaxy of Trouble
- The Bear Necessities
- Weaselboners
- Anchises gets MEGALAID
- So It Turns Out Atlantis Was Full of Terrible People
- Little Ajax Prolly Has a Tiny Penis
- RAPEHAZARD
- The Norse Are Not The Only Dudes Who Have Problems With Giants
- Erigone has a funny way of instituting justice
- Poseidon is a Prankster of Dubious Hilarity
- Here’s Why Hera is Such a Bitch
- Big Ajax is a Huge Crybaby
- Cephalus has nothing to do with squids, disappointingly
- Hair accessories are not good security devices
- Fuck Socrates Caves Are Awesome
- Helen Went To Egypt and it Sucked
- JULIO-CLAUDIANS WERE NOT VERY NICE PEOPLE
- Friends Don’t Let Friends Fuck Siblings
- Apollo Never Gets Laid
- A day in the life of Hermes
- Hera is Such a Bitch
- Deucalion and Pyrrha Get Pranked
- My Fair Lady was based on this apparently?
- HERE COME LESBIANS
- Zeus does not understand contraception
- Ixion does not know when to stop being an asshole
- Phrixus has the pimpest ride
- Cupid and Psyche are both pretty incompetent
- Masturbation, with BONUS HISTORY LESSON
- DOUBLEPOST! OEDIPUS!
- The Aeneid: The Iliad, but with more war (Part 2)
- Aeneas is the store brand version of Odysseus (Part ONE!)
- Jason is basically worthless
- The daughters of Minyas provide me with the perfect opportunity for a RECAP
- Tantalus: Yet another bastard
- Worship Bacchus OR ELSE
- Boats are Dangerous
- Zeus Versus Werewolves
- Zeus grants stupid wishes
- Don’t fuck with Latona
- Life sucks with half a penis
- Your FACE posted late.
- Another Woman Apollo Failed to Bone
- At least the iliad didn’t fuck your dad too OH WAIT
- How many mothers would the iliad fuck if the iliad could fuck mothers? ANSWER: YOURS
- Apollo fucks trees
- How would you feel if you came home to find that the Iliad had fucked your mother?
- What kind of Iliad is it? The MOTHERFUCKING kind. That’s what kind.
- Medea Kind of Sucks Also
- Thyestes is one Massive Asshole Parade
- AT LAST, THE ODYSSEY IS COMPLETE AGAIN – plus shameless plug!
- Odyssey. Also, remember when Google used to be a great company?
- Hey Odyssey, Am I Finished Retelling You Yet? NOT QUITE
- DID YOU THINK I FORGOT ABOUT THE ODYSSEY?
- The Odyssey Again! For a THIRD Time!
- It’s That Odyssey Time Again
- That’s Right, THAT Odyssey
- HORSES
- Why am I awake
- Bastard Children are Morons
- The Founding of Rome
- Don’t fuck with Artemis
- Don’t Go Changin’ on Me
- The Cows Keep Comin’
- This still counts as Tuesday cause i havent slept yet
- Race-ism
- Incest theater
- Another story about cows
- The moment you have all been waiting for
- Not deliriously ill anymore
- Smugglin’ Babies
- Being an asshole works
- Love makes you a retard
- Moonraper
- Man on man time
- I am fucking terrified of spiders
- Orpheus
- Pandora’s Box
- Persephone
- Haven’t seen Clash of the Titans yet
- Hephaestus gets dicked around alot
- Icarus is a dumbass
- Actaeon is a little bitch
- Perseus?
- Tiresias
- How the Trojan War Got Started
- Oedipus Rex
HAWAIIAN!
HINDU!
- Krishna Probably Has Terrible Dental Hygiene
- Krishna is a Butterface
- Krishna Waltzes Right Into A Womb
- Best. Prostitute. EVER.
- King Muchukunda Knows How To Get His Nap On
- Dicks dicks dicks.
- Durga = Voltron
- Being a Cow Is Not The Best Attack Strategy
- The Hindus Like to Chop Dudes Up
- Kaikeyi is Seriously the Only Person Who Doesn’t Like Ram
- Ram Gets Rewarded for Failing
- Holi is literally a murder festival
- Okay now I understand bollywood
- Shiva drinks gallons of PCP
- Kali gets jiggy with it
HISTORY!
- William Cole Buys a Lot of Poop
- I am not Spartacus
- Christopher Columbus Has An Extremely Poor Sense of Direction
- Alcibiades is Handsome as Hell
- Pisistratus is Smarter Than the Government
- Themistocles is the Best Jerk In History
- Alexander The Great is a Torrent of Testosterone
- JULIO-CLAUDIANS WERE NOT VERY NICE PEOPLE
INDONESIAN!
INUIT!
JAPANESE!
- Hoichi No-Ears Solos for Ghosts
- The Yuki-Onna is Not Ready For A Relationship
- Ohonamochi is an Impressionable Youth
- Today’s Myth Brought To You By The Number EIGHT
- Rabbits are Sadistic Bastards
- Tanukis Have Big Balls
- You Can’t Take a Shit in Japan Without Creating a Minor Diety
- So It Turns Out Animals Are Less Worthless Than I thought
- Sparrows Are Another Kind Of Animal That Can Talk
- Foxes are a Gargantuan Waste of Time
- Frogs are Debilitatingly Unaware of Their Own Anatomy
- Okay I Knew the Japanese Were Fucked Up, But Seriously?
JUDEOCHRISTIMUSLIM!
- The Bible Took Out All the Coolest Shit About Solomon
- Happy Massacre Day
- Jesus is Back, and He’s … Surprisingly Chill About It
- God is Good, But Not THAT Good
- The Infancy Gospel of Thomas is TOO HOT FOR THE BIBLE
- Joseph Smith is like John Smith but with a slightly less generic name
- Mary Magdalene is the Sexiest Apostle
- Jonah Has a Right To Be Pissed
- Goliath gets Stoned
- This is a little late, but whatever
- Petronilla Predates Breast Reduction Surgery
- Saint Catherine of Alexandria is an Execution Hazard
- JEEZY CREEZY
- JESUS CHRIST FINALLY
- God: Male Chauvenist, or Just a Huge Asshole?
- NOBODY Fucks with the Jesus
- GOT TO BE A CHOCOLATE JESUS
- JESUS CHRIST, JESUS CHRIST
- Esther Must Be Really Good at Sex
- It’s been a while since I talked about booze
- The Most Important Thing About Ehud is That He is Left-Handed
- God Damn spelled backwards is almost Mad Dog, Which makes sense because I’m sure the Inferno is full of those
- If God were a river, then The Inferno would be a God-Dam
- The Inferno tried to damn God, but God was having none of it.
- I’m all out of shitty puns about EXODUS
- Exo is as Exo Dus
- In the end, it EXODUSn’t even matter
- All we are is EXODUSt in the wind, man
- WAYNE’S WORLD! WAYNE’S WORLD! EXODUS! EXODUS!
- HORSECOCK
- What do I keep telling you guys about God?
- Faustus is one BAD MOTHERFUCKER
- When I say GENES you say IS
- I am honestly not sure whether someone said GENESIS because I have auditory hallucinations
- Someone said GENESIS but i thought they said GENITALS and then i was disappointed
- Nobody said Genesis but I did it anyway
- Did somebody say GENESIS?
- Buttsex anyone?
- Samson is Metal
- To the Desert!
- Hey Guys Lets Convert to Christianity
LITERATURE!
- MORMON DUSK
- MORBY DUCK
- MOMY DESK
- The Animals on Animal Farm are ANIMALS
- Ravens are Shitty Houseguests
- Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde is Really About Meth
- The Jabberwocky, OR: The Monstrous, Talkative Chicken
- Chauntecleer is Really Well Read For a Rooster
- Titus Andronicus? More Like Titties Assdronicuss AM I RIGHT?
- HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEN
- The Word “Purloin” Always Makes Me Think of Cat Groins
- Dorian Gray is Creepy Sexy
- Not to be Confused with A Knight’s Tale
- THE RING CYCLE remains unused in my garage, between the nordic track and the shakeweight.
- More like Heart of Jerkness
- The Walrus and the Carpenter are Cold-Blooded Psychopaths
- Macbeth is a Pussy
- CHRISTMAS GHOSTS
- The Miller is one Drunk Motherfucker
- Frankenstein: Pretty Irresponsible
- The Taming of the Shrew is Just the Right Amount of Ludicrously Sexist
- A Midsummer Night’s Dreams is About a Bunch of Teens Running Around in the Woods But No One Has a Chainsaw
- Hamlet is Very Bad At Revenge
- One time i played a Bible-themed rhythm game. It was called Para Para Paradise Lost
- I have completely run out of clever titles for my Paradise Lost videos
- When Paradise loses its keys, it is like trying to find a needle in a cluster of fucks
- When it comes to Paradise, Fucks come in Clusters
- Paradise was probably Lost because of Clusterfucks
- Paradise Lost Is a Clusterfuck
- George Bush Re-Elected President? Fuck This, I’m Moving to Candide.
- Any thing you Candide I Candide better
- How many deeds can a Candide do if a Candide can do deeds?
- Candide is like Candid, but with an E at the end and an entirely different meaning
- Microsoft Word keeps autocorrecting Candide to candied
- The Inferno, God dammit
- Don Quixote is like the Napoleon of Doing Stupid Shit (part 2)
- The God Damn Inferno is an anagram of A Mended Fronting Ho but that is misleading
- Don Quixote Stupids His Way To Success (Part 1)
- THE GODDAMN INFERNO
- Romeo and Juliet Are Doing It Wrong
MAYAN!
MEXICAN!
NATIVE AMERICAN!
- Doing a Trick With Eyeballs
- The Daughter of the Sun is HOT
- Whiskey Jack and the Flying Butt
- Jumping Mouse Has Crazy Healing Powers
- Animals != Astronomical Bodies
- How About Some Subtlety, Apaches?
- Even Native Americans Have Problems With Giants
- MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER LESBIANS
- She-Who-Lives-Alone is a pretty sad name for a little girl
- Nanbozho sounds like the name of a very ethnic clown
- Coyote Needs Some Goddamn Ritalin
- ICE MANNNN
- Rabbit is a shitty host
- CALIFORNIAAAAAA
- FIRE
- FUCK SHIT FUCK FUCK
NORSE!
- Thor Has Anger Management Issues But We Knew This
- Magdi is Strong
- Loki is Sort of Okay, I GUESS
- Odin Starts Acting a Little Zeusy
- There Are Not A Lot Of Things Odin Won’t Do For Secrets
- Freyr Cocks It All Up
- Balls Well That Ends Well
- THE RING CYCLE remains unused in my garage, between the nordic track and the shakeweight.
- THE RING CYCLE sounds like a bonus stage in Sonic The Hedgehog
- So I saw Thor
- Loki takes it just a little too far
- Grettir the Strong Wrecks Dudes’ Faces
- Grettir the Strong Sets Dudes on Fire
- It’s your birthday! Let’s talk about murder and slavery.
- The Greeks Do Not Have a Monopoly on Bestiality
- There Are Not a Lot of Things Freya Won’t Do For Jewelry
- Whatever it’s only 2:30 AM
- The Norse Can Never Have Enough Booze
- Loki is still a dick, but also covered in poison
- What the fuck Loki
- MOTHERFUCKING NORSE MYTH AVALANCHE
- Did you miss the norse? THEY MISSED YOU.
- Odin is the life of the party
- BONUS
- In Which Being a Bastard Does NOT Work
- Keep doing that and you’ll go blind
- Ragnarok: Better than 2012
- ENOUGH with the cows
- I told you that story so i could tell you this one
- Thor gets a hammer
- The Norse are fucking brutal
NURSERY RHYME!
- Mary Had a Little Lamb Does Not Deserve to be Famous
- Sing a Song of Suxpence
- Humpty Dumpty Had a Rad Death
- Old Mother Hubbard and the Slow Descent Into Madness
- A trio of sightless rodents
OLDE ENGLISH!
- Matty Groves Must Give Good Head
- Robin Hood Corrupts the Entire Government
- Robin Hood Takes Care Of His Own, By Which I Mean Other Criminals
- Robin Hood is the Most Aggressive Wedding Planner
- Robin Hood and Friar Tuck are Two Violent Morons
- Everybody Trusts Robin Hood for Some Reason
- Chauntecleer is Really Well Read For a Rooster
- Man I Thought Reynard and Isengrin Were Just Characters From Gunnerkrigg Court
- Lady Isabels and the Elf Knights
- Alexander The Great is a Torrent of Testosterone
- Robin Hood Wears Guy of Gisborne Like a Suit
- If Your Last Name is Lambton, I Pity You
- TWO PRINCESSES GET TRIPLE HEAD XXX
- The Miller is one Drunk Motherfucker
- Tam Lin is Really Good at Rape?
- Beowulf Can Kick An Ass So Hard It Flies Into Orbit At Such High Speeds That It Turns Back Time To A Point Just Before It Was Kicked and Then Beowulf Kicks it Again
- Beowulf is the product of a genetic experiment to breed the baddest ass possible (Part 2!)
- Beowulf Eats Napalm and Shits Asses, Which He Kicks (Part 1)
ORLANDO FURIOSO!
PERSIAN!
- Zal and Rudabeh is like Romeo and Juliet but Nobody Dies???
- Shahmaran is Probably Delicious
- Rustum and Sohrab Have Some Family Problems
PERSONAL!
- Dante, Part 3
- Dante, Part 2
- Dante, Part 1
- How I Met Cuba
- Best Birthday (Part 2!)
- The Best Birthday (Part 1)
- It Is Very Important To Me That I Not Have To Wear Shoes
- Train Problems
- Cops, Junkies, and a Rooster
ROBIN HOOD!
- Robin Hood Corrupts the Entire Government
- Robin Hood Takes Care Of His Own, By Which I Mean Other Criminals
- Robin Hood is the Most Aggressive Wedding Planner
- Robin Hood and Friar Tuck are Two Violent Morons
- Everybody Trusts Robin Hood for Some Reason
- Robin Hood Wears Guy of Gisborne Like a Suit
- Robin Hood Gets Beat Up A Lot
- Robin Hood: Not as Nice as You Thought
RUSSIAN!
- The Goat, the Wolf, and the Cabbage, OR: Poor Purchasing Decisions
- Sister Fox and Brother Wolf in: What The Hell Did I Just Read?
- Ilya of Murom Is a Reasonable Man Surrounded by Capricious Wizards
- KOSHCHEI THE DEATHLESS
- Vasalissa Has a Scary Doll
- Drums are Good For More Than Just Funky Beats
- Geese Are Jerks
- Prince Ivan Takes Dumb To the Next Level
- Baba Yaga is a poor housekeeper
- Russia Has Fucked Up Monsters
SCIENCE!
- Turtles on Turtles on Turtles
- The Goat, the Wolf, and the Cabbage, OR: Poor Purchasing Decisions
- Isaac Newton Invented Gravity But Who Gives a Shit
- History of Electricity, Part 2: EVERYONE’S STILL CRAZY
- Electricity, Part One
- Another Way We Might All Die
- South Park did this and i don’t care
SCOTTISH!
SHAKESPEARE!
- The Tempest, or Prospero Pisses on His Enemies
- Cymbeline Should Not Be the Title of This Play
- Titus Andronicus? More Like Titties Assdronicuss AM I RIGHT?
- Macbeth is a Pussy
- The Taming of the Shrew is Just the Right Amount of Ludicrously Sexist
- A Midsummer Night’s Dreams is About a Bunch of Teens Running Around in the Woods But No One Has a Chainsaw
- Hamlet is Very Bad At Revenge
- Romeo and Juliet Are Doing It Wrong
SHERLOCK HOLMES!
- Sherlock Holmes: The Original House M.D.
- The Speckled Band Is Not A Story About Rockstars With The Measles
SILMARILLION!
- Tolkein Told You That WHOLE OTHER STORY So He Could Tell You This One:
- AKALLABETH, or: The Valar Are Poor Communicators
- Earendil Drives a Boat into a Fucking Dragon
- Tuor is Useless
- Jewelry is Hard to Come By In Middle Earth
- Turin is like a Macbeth wrapped in an Oedipus
- The Silmarillion: Five Battles is TOO MANY BATTLES
- Beren and Luthien Write a Bad Romance
- The Race of Men Is Totally Pussywhipped
- Maeglin’s Mom is Easily Distracted
- Tolkien’s Elves are So Dang Highschool
- The War With Morgoth Is Slow As Molasses-Soaked Balls
- J.R.R. Tolkein is a Goddamn Copy-Catter
- Men: Objectively Worse Elves
- The Valar Fight Fire With Fire
- Feanor’s Arctic Roadtrip
- Melkor Ruins the Party
- Feanor Invents Bling
- Melkor is Way Too Convincing
- The Elves Are Not Masters of Logistics
- The War Against Melkor is a Lot Like World War Two
- Aule and Yavanna Have a Passive Agressive Relationship
- Melkor Knocks Some Shit Over
- The Jam Session That Created the Universe, by J.R.R. Tolkien
SUFI!
SUMERIAN!
TAOIST!
- THE MAD BEGGAR CHOU TIEN
- T’ieh-kuai Li is an evil ghost
- Wei Po-Yang is a Goddamn Cult Leader
- Mudtits
- Tao Time Motherfuckers
- Three in the Morning
- I am about to BLOW YOUR MIND
TUNISIAN!
TURKISH!
URBAN LEGEND!
VIETNAMESE!
- Yes, They Have Lumberjacks in Vietnam
- Phu Dong Loves Iron Almost as Much As Dwarves Love Fucking Gold
VOODOO!
WELSH!
YORUBA!
- Elegua Has the Good Drugs
- Oba is Like a Sexy Lady Van Gogh
- Oya is a One-Woman Blitzkrieg
- Eshu Elegba is a Big Ol’ Jerk Clown